March 17, 2025

WHITE LOTUS – Season 3, Episode 5 – Monks, Madness & The Most Unhinged Yacht Party Yet

If you thought The White Lotus couldn’t get any more chaotic, Episode 5 said: Hold my full moon cocktail. This episode was a masterclass in delusion, self-destruction, and people on vacation making the worst possible choices—all while thinking they’re enlightened. Between Saxon and Lochlan taking brotherly love way too far, Victoria proving she has no clue where she is, and Rick looking like he was about to disassociate into another dimension, let’s break it all down.

Rick & Frank: The Most Unhinged Reunion in White Lotus History

So, Rick meets up with his old friend Frank, played by Sam Rockwell—who immediately delivers one of the most unhinged monologues in the show’s history. This man doesn’t just lay his soul bare—he drops every single one of his life’s darkest, weirdest details with zero shame, zero filter, and absolutely no concern for the audience’s emotional well-being.

He’s a sex addict, a former alcoholic, a Buddhist, a gender-fluid soul, and possibly someone who “hires men who look like him” (👀 Greg connection??). His whole vibe is just pure radical honesty, which is jarring when the entire show is about people lying to themselves.

And poor Rick? Completely blindsided. You could see his brain buffering while Frank casually steamrolled through every taboo topic imaginable before taking another sip of his drink like he just gave a weather report. Legendary television.

Of course, Rick isn’t just here for spiritual awakenings—he’s got revenge on his mind. He tells Frank to “keep tomorrow night open,” which is clearly code for “please don’t sign up for an orgy, I need you to roleplay as my fake film director so I can track down Jim Hollinger.”

(just a little tidbit – Sam Rockwell is married to Leslie Bibb, who plays Kate).

Tim: Possibly Enlightened, Definitely Suicidal

Tim spends most of this episode quietly unraveling, and for the first time, we actually feel bad for him. While his family is out making horrific life choices, he has a rare moment of peace during Piper’s meditation—a flashback to his days as an altar boy, back when he actually felt innocent.

Cue the existential crisis.

Suddenly, it’s all too much—the fraud, the shame, the impending downfall—and he starts writing what looks suspiciously like a farewell letter. Tim’s been the poster child for rich-guy hubris, but now, it seems like he’s seriously considering ending it all.

And while we’re here, WHERE IS GAITOK?? He literally watched the security footage of Tim stealing the gun and just… did nothing?! Sir. Please do your job. Please.

Victoria: Clueless in Paradise

Victoria is finally lucid after being forced into an accidental benzo detox, and yet, she’s more out of touch than ever.

Exhibit A: Piper announces she wants to stay in Thailand.
Victoria: “You want to move to TAIWAN?!”
(Victoria, you don’t even know where you are.)

Exhibit B: Her dinner conversation about how actresses are basically prostitutes.
I don’t know what’s more impressive—the sheer tone-deaf confidence or the way the entire table just sat there, probably contemplating their own existence.

But let’s talk about her outfit choice during her big showdown with Piper. That orange draped garment with one shoulder exposed? A deliberate nod to Buddhist monk attire while she’s literally standing there criticizing Buddhism. The irony is screaming. It’s like the anti-Buddha look—spiritually clueless, but make it chic.

At this point, Victoria is giving major “out-of-touch wealthy lady who gets kicked off talk shows for saying something insane” energy, and it’s hilarious to watch.

Piper: Is She Studying Buddhism, or Just Running Away?

Piper’s whole “I’m here for my thesis” excuse? Officially dead.

By now, it’s obvious this was never about Buddhism—it was about escaping her family. The monks, the meditation, the desire to stay in Thailand (not Taiwan, Victoria)—she’s fully checked out of the Ratliff dynasty.

And honestly? Good for her. If my family included Saxon and Lochlan being gross on a yacht, my dad writing a suicide note, and my mother ranting about actresses being prostitutes, I’d be signing up for monastery life too.

Saxon & Lochlan: Um… What?!

Oh. My. G-d.

So… we all knew Lochlan was obsessed with Saxon. But this? THIS?!

Between the yacht, the drugs, the two women making out, and the fact that Saxon is literally the worst person alive, Lochlan finally decides to make a move on his own brother. ON HIS BROTHER.

And here’s the thing—Saxon doesn’t seem that phased?! Dude, you should be way more horrified than this!

This whole plotline has been building for weeks, but seeing it actually happen was next-level disturbing. And the fact that Saxon gave that whole speech earlier about how everyone is just waiting to be used? Yeah. That was foreshadowing.

Jaclyn, Laurie & Kate: Drinking Themselves Into Bad Decisions

Jaclyn has officially gone off the rails—not only did she push Valentin onto Laurie, but then she turned around and slept with him herself.

Girl. What are you doing? Girl code!

And let’s talk about the drinks at the Full Moon Party—because I was convinced they were drugged. When Jaclyn grabbed Kate’s shot, and Valentin gave that look? I was screaming at my TV. DO NOT TAKE DRINKS FROM STRANGERS, LADIES.

Also, Kate’s pajama set? The one covered in camera print? Yeah, that’s definitely foreshadowing. Somebody’s getting caught on camera soon (Jaclyn and Valentin, perhaps?).

This whole three-way friendship is on thin ice, and with Jaclyn spiraling, it’s only a matter of time before this explodes.

Belinda: Knows the Truth, But No One Cares

Belinda has officially put the pieces together about Greg/Gary, and when she tries to warn Fabian? He could not care less.

“I mean, he killed his wife.”
“I don’t think you have anything to worry about as long as you focus on your job.” (Walks away speaking French.)

Fabian. What.

At this point, Belinda is in real danger, and the fact that literally no one is listening to her makes it 1000x worse. The only person who seems remotely concerned? Pornchai. (Good for her, by the way)

Final Thoughts: The Full Moon Illuminates Bad Decisions

This episode was pure madness, and yet, somehow, we still haven’t seen the full fallout. We have:

Rick setting up a scam to meet Jim Hollinger.
Tim possibly planning his own exit.
Victoria being awake but still fully delusional.
Piper low-key escaping to the monastery.
Saxon & Lochlan’s nightmare fuel of a yacht moment.
Jaclyn self-sabotaging her entire life.
Belinda knowing too much, but no one taking her seriously.
And Greg/Gary lurking in the shadows, possibly about to make a move.
Wardrobe hints: Victoria literally dressing like a faux-monk while mocking Buddhism, and Kate’s pajama cameras all but confirming someone’s about to get exposed.

And can we talk about Chloe?? That girl is chaos incarnate. She’s actively encouraging bad decisions, supplying substances, and stirring the pot—she knows Greg is capable of murder, yet she’s still messing around.

At this point, next week’s episode is going to be a bloodbath, either emotionally or literally.

PRAISE BUDDHA! White Lotus is about to go full-throttle into pure chaos.

And that’s a wrap! Until next week!
Thoughts??
XX