May 20, 2018

Sunday Thoughts 5.20.18

I was left alone today for a few hours so I figured I would share my thoughts…it’s been awhile…

1) Are you following DILFS of Disneyland on Insta? Follow stat. I am not sure who created this account but it’s gold. I mean some of the dads do NOT deserve the right to be featured but others…

2) SiriusXM has been ripping it lately. Besides the standards (80’s on 8, The Spectrum, The Dead, etc) LL Cool J’s new station Rock the Bells is sick old school hip hop (channel 43) , Kevin Hart’s Laugh Out Loud radio is HILARIOUS (channel 96), Wedding Channel, remember all those songs from the zillion weddings you went to in the span of two years ( channel 4)? and if you missed Snoop Dogg on Howard, download it! Amazing interview!!
3) Why do people say it’s “raining outside?” Like no shit. Where else would it be raining?
4) Why is it every time I order a hamburger for my kid the waitress asks if I want cheese on it? IF I wanted cheese I would ask for a cheeseburger.
5) I would love ONE MAN to come forward and admit he used the Bosley hair regrowth and it worked. Is it me or is every before and after picture two different people?

6) Am I the only person who is under constant interrogation by their spouse about the condition of your car? Why is there a scratch? How many water bottles are you collecting? What happened to your rim? I don’t fucking know. Is this your car?? Do I care that you ate a granola bar in your car and there are crumbs everywhere? No.
7) How the hell do you mother’s home school? Mad respect for you. MAD. What cloth are you cut from? I need to understand…
8) Last Monday I received flowers with this note: Yes, this was so unexpected and so nice. But does this mean every Monday I am getting flowers or was it just that one time? And did he really send them Monday because he just didn’t want to give them to me on Mother’s Day because it felt too cliché ? These are questions you just can’t ask…
9) Do you think it’s an underground written rule that when a patron calls about the status of their Chinese food delivery, they MUST respond “It has already left?”
10) The new dating app “Hater” that matches you based on things you mutually hate is genius. Do you know how many divorces this would have prevented??? People are always matched with things they love: music, food, traditions etc. Had I known that Greg hated changing the toilet paper roll that may have just been a game changer…