We are in unprecedented times. The question I keep hearing over and over is how much do we give to a Zoom Mitzvah? Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. BUT I researched and asked many, many people. People who have had Zoom mitzvah’s. People whose expertise is etiquette. People who, truly, just had an opinion. These are my results. Please take this with a grain of salt. There is no right or wrong here. This is only information I have gathered. If you feel otherwise, please let me know! I believe it is all based on your comfort level.


  • a friend – $18-$36
  • a camp friend – $18- $36
  • you and your spouse (no kids) $144
  • you and your spouse with 1 kid – $144-$180
  • you and your spouse with 2 kids – $144-$254
  • you and your spouse with 3 kids – $144-$306
  • 4+ kids – $144-$360
  • your BFF – $360-$500
  • Single Parent – you and your child $118, you and your two kids $118-180, you and your three kids $118-$254 (depending on friendship)
  • Grandparents – as much as you can 
  • B’nai Mitzvah – DOUBLE BUBBLE
    $18-$36 each kid – two separate checks, family of 3, $118 each, a family of 4, $144 each, a family of 5, $180 each, etc.

**If they have already attended your child’s mitzvah, the rule is to reciprocate exactly what they gave you no matter what.

Hope this helps!

Share Your Thoughts

  1. Linda Weissbrod

    What about Covid-weddings and weddings where you are not in their top 30 of attendees so you are not invited

    October 12, 2020 • 2:04 pm •
  2. Ali

    A friend sent this to me and I LOVE that you did this! I wanted to share my thoughts. I think you should give whatever you would give if it wasn’t COVID-19 times. And of course what you can afford! We just had our first zoom mitzvah where both my husband and I plus one of our kids was invited. We have $50 more than we have all other in person mitzvahs pre-covid.

    I also do NOT believe in that “cover your plate” concept. Give what makes you comfortable!

    The one that is killing me is the b’nai mitzvah. I want to double what I would do individually.. But that would be $550 and right now, I can’t swing that so I will so less! If my friend has an issue with that, well maybe she isn’t as good a friend as I thought!!!

    Thanks for reading this

    October 12, 2020 • 10:46 pm •