The Affair Season 3, Episode 4…Let’s Discuss!!!

Welcome back to the perspective we have all been waiting for:


Ah, Back in Montauk. Finally a perspective I am interested in watching. The show begins with Cole dreaming about having sex with Alison. Ironically, it ends with him actually having sex with her (to discuss soon). It shortly ends when Joanie walks into the room. I may be the only one who picked up on this BUT when you wake up every morning, do you roll over and kiss your spouse “good morning”? Maybe I am just the worst wife.


The episode is based around Joanie’s 5th birthday party. This is a major birthday BECAUSE it means that Joanie has outlived Gabriel. Cole & Luisa went all out.  She got the kids all personalized sunglasses with their names on the sides. Pink for the girls, green for the boys. I wonder what she would do for Joanie’s Mitzvah. I do have one question – wasn’t Joanie born in March?? Why is her birthday party in September? Am I losing it? Anyway, Joanie drops a bomb when she mutters that Alison is making a cake. I mean Luisa practically ordered a Sylvia Weinstock cake for Joanie and now what? Now, nothing.  Luisa will show off that cake, come hell or high water.

Cole is building a SICK house in Montauk. West Lake Drive possibly? When the builder mentions that the “ipe” will be ready in two weeks, that was our first hint on how successful the Lobster Roll is doing. Ipe is very expensive decking. You even need a special saw to cut it.(FYI – If you are given a choice, always go with Ipe – it is the most durable decking out there, it’s also the most beautiful). Luisa calls Cole in a huff about not being able to meet Alison with Joanie so Cole gladly offers (we knew you would Cole).

Cole watches Alison with Joanie climb the monkey bars. It was an odd scene. I think any mother would be nervous watching their child attempt to stand on the top of the monkey bars, right?

Later that evening, Cole mentions to Luisa that Alison & Joanie seem good together however Luisa is quick to the punch. Luisa is not hearing ANY of it.  I can’t listen to one more second of  her bitching about how Alison abandoned her daughter. She didn’t abandon Joanie. She realized she needed help and did the mature thing to seek it. Yes, the way she left wasn’t ideal but at least she WENT FOR HELP. I find Luisa’s behavior to be childish and repulsive (just saying). It seems she will do anything to make sure Alison is not granted unsupervised visits.

The Pony express is definitely not as lavish as it is in Alison’s point of view but a few take aways during this scene.

First: WTF was Alison wearing? It’s one thing to make her look dowdy but that dress was HIDEOUS. I feel like she began to get her style together when she was briefly married to Noah. Now – granny central!

Second: The cake. Alison’s – homemade –  vs. Luisa’s – store-bought (and perfect)
cakeThird: The Pony Ride
When Joanie falls off, Cole holds Luisa back so Alison can rush to her side and comfort her. Here we see Cole giving Alison priority with her own daughter. Although, the way Joanie fell off that horse was almost comedic. Maybe it was me but I thought it looked so unnatural.

After the party ends, Cole & Luisa have it out. Luisa’s sob story about how unfit Alison is to be a parent is old and I am so happy when Cole steps in to put Luisa in her place.
“Cole, she abandoned her daughter on our doorstep.”
“She is still Joanie’s mother.”
“She doesn’t deserve to be!”
“Well, what do you want me to do? You want me to have her locked up? For depression? For being afraid? We lost our child!”  – YOU TELL HER COLE!


Remember last week when I mentioned that Noah was living in Livingston, NJ,??  (YEAH, I DID) Well, Detective Stanton of The Livingston Police Department (HA, I really wish they were watching this show) pays Cole a short visit to inquire about his whereabouts the night Noah was stabbed. Luisa is quick to jump in and give Cole an alibi but she questions Cole after the police leave as to where exactly was Cole last Wednesday night? Hmmmm


If things are not steamy enough, Cole heads over to Alison’s to berate her for not giving Cole a heads up that Noah was out of jail. Truthfully, I was more perturbed by what Alison was wearing then to listen to him scream at her. Do you wear a slip around the house? My idea of clothing at anything past 8pm is a t-shirt and sweatpants. Not sexy but sure as hell comfortable. The slip ensemble was such a Cole perspective. HOWEVER, their chemistry (whether she is fooling around with him to get unsupervised visits or whatever the case may be) is the only REAL chemistry on the show. Agree?



Back to the Monkey Bars. In Alison’s POV, although nervous, Alison watches as Joanie balance beams across the top of the Monkey Bars. I don’t know about you, but I would not be comfortable with this kind of behavior at all. We know Alison needs to play the “I am super chill parent,” but that was a little over the top.

After the little playdate, Joanie asks Alison about the night she was born. The conversation went something like this:

“Was it a day or a night?”
“Um, it was a night. It was a rainy night. It was a big storm. The wind was so strong, I thought the windows might blow out.”
“Hm. Was Daddy there?”
“Yeah, Daddy was there.”
“He was feeding me ice chips. You know, that’s really all daddies can do in that moment.”

Maybe I missed the part where Cole was feeding Alison ice chips (ha). The web of lies these characters tell…..
Alison asks Cole if she can bake a cake (which was very unclear in Cole’s perspective). Cole sort of says okay but mentions that Luisa has a nut allergy.


Alison spends the afternoon building a very intricate dollhouse for Joanie’s birthday (who knew she was so crafty). She then meets with Joanie’s court-appointed lawyer who was a huge douche. He pointed out that she doesn’t work (does the income from the Lobster Roll NOT count?), she is still married to an ex-convict (ok “estranged”) and she has issues with depression. Um, that did not go so well.

This time around Livingston (aka as Detective Stanton) shows up on Alison’s doorstep. Alison is busy baking a cake, contemplating if she should make a peanut butter frosting that would put Luisa into anaphylactic shock. I so wish when Detective Livingston asked Alison what she was making (weirdest question ever by the way), she responded “Oh as a matter a fact I am baking a cake to poison my husband’s horrific wife.” Livingston delivers Alison the news that, not only, is Noah a professor at a college in good old Jersey, Noah was stabbed. Alison is flabbergasted and quickly plays the message Noah left on her voicemail after the detectives leave.  Alison puts two and two together and realizes he left her that message the night he was stabbed. This i voicemail will eventually bite her in the ass. Lose your phone, Alison.

A little word about the Livingston “STATE” Police. Ha. Try NEW YORK STATE POLICE. Livingston and State do not go hand in hand. At all.







Alison shows up at Joanie’s party looking WAY better in her POV. I hope the Affair crew burns that green dress from earlier. Even the cakes are so much nicer (notice they are opposite colors from earlier).



Oscar thinks Alison’s looks better anyway. Speaking of Oscar, did I miss the episode when Cole & Oscar became good buddies? Alison is hung up on Sparkles being a horse, not a pony. The pony express scene is vastly different from the way Cole viewed it. Alison recalled being terrified, Cole remembers Alison being very in control. Truthfully, the scene was annoying to watch twice. Although I did love when Cole said to Alison: “I’m sorry. It happens to me too.” At least Cole gets it.

We shortly find out where Luisa brought Alison’s cake. Luisa gets all fierce and hands the cake back to Alison. The best line of the show, by far, was delivered by Alison to Luisa – “Don’t be a monster.” I wish Alison threw the cake in her face.

Several hours later, Alison is back home getting her craft on NOT wearing a slip. Can we discuss this dollhouse she built? For some odd reason, maybe it’s me, I thought the dollhouse resembled Cole & Alison’s old house in Montauk, no?


Cole arrives and  stares in disbelief at what Alison created for Joanie’s birthday. Alison’s little speech to Cole in this moment was killer :
“I’m gonna stay in this town watching you…watching you love somebody else. And watching you raise Joanie with somebody else. And that’s gonna have to be enough for me.”
(If you didn’t want to cry for Alison then I hope, at least, you got excited when he grabbed her hand – I DID).


But his hand on her face while kissing….biggest turn on ever (in my humble opinion)


(p.s – to the Affair team if you are reading this – we need more scenes like this)

I was laughing, though, when they walked down the hallway and they stopped to make out “against the wall” and then they walked into the bedroom and stopped to make out, he picked her up, so cliche! But… I do love his tattoo.


Alison wakes up the next morning looking to see if Cole was still at her house. AS IF. Alison walks outside to her bike. Alison and that bike. Luisa appears and we are all thinking that Luisa is going to confront her. But she actually tells Alison that she can have Joanie for her birthday, she doesn’t want to be a monster. Maybe Alison’s bad decisions are really behind her. Right…As in bad decisions like sleeping with your husband?
Alison takes a dip in the ocean. Isn’t it FREEZING??? I am positive this was a metaphor for “washing her sins away.” Salt water makes all bad things go away even adultery.


Alison rides off in the sun only to pass Noah driving on the road.

Can we discuss that Noah took Juliette’s MINI to drive to Montauk to see Alison??







Share Your Thoughts

  1. Cindy

    I liked Alison’s cake better, and I’m guessing most kids would too. Kids do not care what a cake looks like, right? Although we all know Luisa bought that fancy cake to impress the other ADULTS, not the kids.

    Her handing Alison’s cake back to her was unbelievably rude, not to mention just downright mean and spiteful. Did Joannie even know her mom baked her a cake?

    Luisa has a nut allergy — Luisa IS a nut. Have we ever seen a scene where Luisa is happy, nice, loving, or in any way appealing?

    LOL my thoughts were exactly the same when I saw the dollhouse — I thought it was a replica of Alison and Cole’s Montauk house.

    Sigh, so freaking typical of douchebag Noah to take the car of his current squeeze to visit Alison. UGH!

    I actually hooted out loud when Cole and Alison started getting hot and heavy. Dang. Now THAT is a twist. LOL wonder if Alison will get pregnant again … it only took once before …

    December 15, 2016 • 8:37 pm •
  2. Elisa

    Love, love reading your overview of the Affair. The show is soooooo much fun to watch. I agree with you on Loisa’s role as a Monster. She is nasty and agree that while unconventional, Alison did leave Joanie with her Dad?? She wasn’t well and needed help. That last scene when Noah shows up was a real twist. Not sure how to predict that playing out. She can’t possibly still want to protect him???
    Troble seems to follow her. Will have to wait a week to find out. Looking forward to hearing your take next week and no I don’t kiss my hubby first thing in the morning either!!!

    December 17, 2016 • 11:30 am •