Welcome back! After a long hiatus, I am excited to be back writing about The Affair. Although, I hope this season doesn’t fall off the deep end. If you forget what happened last season, you can read the season 2 finale HERE.
PART ONE: NOAH
Or should I say PART everything. Are we to assume that the structure of Part One/Part Two is extinct? No more flashback series?? I am speculating because we do not have to guess anymore who killed Scotty. The show doesn’t need to go back to original structure. BUT I am hoping that is not the case. At least we have Allison to look forward to next week. Anyway, let’s discuss.
The season opens up with a very depressed Noah sporting a bushy beard (love that he is partaking in No Shave November). He is currently living with his sister, Nina, struggling to get back on his feet. We are soon whisked into Noah’s father’s funeral where he sits in the back row. Noah gives the world’s worst eulogy (I couldn’t watch) and either envisions or actually sees a man by the graveyard. Helen arrives with all the kids except Whitney (😭). Shouldn’t she be attending her grandfather’s funeral?? Maybe she is still not over the hot tub saga? I don’t think I am. Martin wants no part of his father and actually is the pallbearer instead of Noah. The service ends with Noah’s dads request “Take me out to the ball game” (REALLY?)
We quickly learn from Helen that Noah served three years in prison (for a crime we know he did not commit) and he has currently been out for two months. In those two months he has been living with Nina (and her horrific husband), has a teaching job (at Princeton?? – that’s my guess) and has had zero contact with Helen & the kids. When Helen asks Noah “what about us? I could not get over how desperate she is. And WHAT happened to the hot doctor?? Can he please come back? Helen is in need of a serious wardrobe change so maybe that has something to do with it.
SHIVA (or not really)
I am only calling it Shiva because that is how I relate to a home after a funeral when people are grieving (I know his father was not Jewish , although the lady who told Noah he killed his father and called Noah “A HORROR” may have been). Nina shares a cigarette with Noah outside and we are let in a tiny secret that Nina did something awful once that only Noah forgave her for (hmmm). It looks as though Noah may have a pill problem (what happened to his shoulder?). Nina also suggests, in the nicest way, Noah should consider shaving his beard – ah, sisterly love.
By the way, her hair color – I need it.
Noah has a horrific nightmare that evening about his time in prison. Between the dream and his sister’s comment, Noah wakes up and shaves off his beard (thankfully doesn’t leave a moustache) starting anew. Nina’s husband goes bat shit crazy after he finds out Noah’s father left him the house instead of Nina. TIME TO MOVE OUT NOAH! Also Nina- drop your husband. You are WAY too pretty and WAY to cool to be married to that loser.
CREATIVE WRITING 101
Look who we have here! If it isn’t Sarah Ramos (remember Haddie Braverman from Parenthood) cast as Audrey. I predict a student/teacher fling very soon….
Audrey reads aloud a beautiful short story that Noah rips to shreds (even though he was half listening). Noah is flabbergasted that Audrey can’t take criticism. After all, it is a WRITING CLASS and according to Mr. Solloway “if you want to be a writer, you better get used to people hating your work.” SHEESH. I am so happy I was never in his class.
Noah finds an ad for cheap student housing and decides to take a nap in a church. He dreams about the time Helen visits him in jail (definitely right after he was convicted). Helen questions his reasoning for admitting to a crime he didn’t commit and Noah’s answer (such a typical Noah response) – I did it to protect you and the kids, plus I can use this experience to write my next novel. Seriously? He is going to use his jail time as a writer’s retreat? Sounds like his writer’s retreat turned into a horror story where he developed a major pill addiction and is now suffering from some sort of PTSD. When Noah mentions to Helen “they’re not gonna keep me here for the full three years. I’ll be out before you know it.” We know just how wrong he was. But the most assholish comment is when Helen asks Noah “What am I supposed to do while you’re in here? and he answers “just wait” (AS IF!!!!!!).
Noah is awakened by a French Professor, Juliette Le Gall (aka Irene Jacob). She just happens to be wearing a very tight skirt, discussing the war between conscious mind and self-destructive subconscious desire.” (Are you listening Noah?). Juliette seems to take an immediate liking to Noah (I mean doesn’t every woman on this show), tells him they are kindred spirits (please) and invites him to a dinner party that evening. Juliette is really irritating or maybe just too cliché. Maybe when Noah wanted to escape from Alison last season and write in France, this is who he would have met (more on Juliette soon).
SANTOS & FRASER
Parole Officer, Officer Santos, shows up in Noah’s classroom to make sure everything is status quo and Noah is maintaining employment. He does throw Officer Santos off when he asks if there is anyway or anybody still inside Fishkill that could find his current address…like a guard? Um, not possible.
Noah heads over to the liquor store to buy a nice bottle of wine for the shindig later. Although, it doesn’t seem like he can afford anything at the moment. Is all of his money really gone?? I mean I know lawyers are expensive but wasn’t Helen paying for that. The security guard that Noah keeps envisioning is in the liquor store and he bugs out. Noah drops a bottle of wine (that he really couldn’t pay for) and runs the hell out of there. It is in that split second we see the security guard’s face – BRENDAN FRASER. Wow, all the way from The Mummy to The Affair. Can’t wait to see how his role plays out…
THE DINNER PARTY
Later that evening Noah shows up at Juliette’s with flowers (not wine) and guess who answers the door, little Ms. Audrey. Noah, horrified, plays it off and joins the interesting cast of characters for dinner. I need to interrupt and throw my two cents in here…If this scene does not emphasize how much this was from Noah’s POV, I don’t know what does. Between Juliette biting into fruit as she is eyeing Noah across the table, professing her love of Descent AND, in no lesser words, calls him Lancelot. Juliette is basically begging for it under the dinner table.
Noah apologizes to Audrey after dinner about his callous words in class earlier in the day. Audrey goes on a tirade about how women never feel safe no matter where they go in a male-dominated society (there is some truth to that). Audrey asks Noah if he wants a cigarette and he tells her he doesn’t smoke. Did he not have a cigarette with his sister one day ago? Maybe after he shaved his beard, he turned over a new leaf? I wasn’t sure if Noah was going to end up screwing Audrey or Juliette until Juliette appeared and offers Noah a tour. (Although I am not throwing Audrey out of the picture just yet).
Juliette throws herself at Noah with her talk of “I was beginning to think there wasn’t anyone interesting to talk to in all of New Jersey.” (PUH-LEASE – NJ is the capital of interesting). I mean she may as well be spread eagle on her bed. But that goes sour when the train horn blew and the train’s lights flashed in Noah’s eyes. He bolts from the house and runs to call Allison.
Oh, Allison. Where have you gone? Guess we don’t know yet since she told Noah never to call her….
MURDER IN STUDENT HOUSING
Back at Noah’s hideous new apartment we see a manuscript, titled “The Autobiography of Jack Hunter,” that seems to go against Noah’s claims that he wasn’t working on anything. He walks into the kitchen to find ants and dirty dishes in the sink. The feeling of paranoia sweeps over him and SLASH!
So is Noah dead? Are we to assume he is and try to guess for the next 10 episodes WHO DID IT or is Noah mentally re-living getting stabbed in prison? Would make sense, right, as he was fingering a knife while he is doing the dishes? That’s my hunch!
Until next week!