This episode gave us a lot of answers and filled me with lots of new theories….
PART ONE: ALISON
The show opens up with Alison by herself in Cold Springs. Noah is in the city with Martin who is apparently sick. I hope sick doesn’t mean he attempted suicide (remember first episode season 1) but since Helen was home during Alison’s visit, I am going to assume with stomach issues.
Wicked Witch from Cold Springs
Alison heads to work and walks into Yvonne deeply engrossed in Noah’s book. Yvonne’s alter ego, Super Bitch, (wanted to use another word here but you get my drift) has arrived and she is barking orders at Alison and ordering her around. Alison is unsure about Yvonne’s behavior so she takes it up with Robert.
The Hard On
I’m still not over this scene so much. Apparently Yvonne has been “devouring” Noah’s book and reading passages to Robert in bed. He “claims” he has no clue why Yvonne would be treating Alison differently. It all becomes clear, though, when we find out that Robert & Yvonne happened to have met in a very similar sort of way. They had their own scandalous affair many moons ago. Alison goes into major detail about how their affair began..It started off with a kiss on her cheek which felt like a “bolt of electricity course through me. All I could think about was being close with him, touching him, being naked with him, getting away from everything in my life, it was terrifying.”I have no idea why she feels its okay to confide in Robert the way she does. Robert is trying so hard to be all cool and collected listening and not responding. Finally Alison finishes and thinks, after telling this whirlwind of a story, she can just go back to the awkward knee exercises. As Robert says “KID, I think we’re done.” Yeah, you’re done. Especially when Alison notices Robert’s raging boner through his pants. I literally wanted to die for her. AWKWARD, EMBARRASSING, and everything in between. But she seems to have this “effect on men.” As she walked out of the house to bike to town, all I was thinking was she needs to get a new job, STAT! How can she keep working there? I guess it doesn’t matter since Robert fires her! (more on that in a minute)
I want to ride my Bicycle:
Love how Alison is still riding a bike. I mean I know it’s a small town. It is only 6 miles to town from Robert & Yvonne’s home but the whole I am going ride my bicycle and bring home lunch in a basket kills me. The bakery owner knows so much about Alison and her upcoming wedding from Yvonne it seems as though Alison was over thinking the Yvonne bitch scenario.
Um, she wasn’t. Yvonne is a major asshole during the lunch with her kids, throwing Alison major ‘tude about the hot dogs. Next think we know Alison is back at her cabin and Robert swings by to deliver the unfortunate news that Alison is not needed at the house anymore. Alison is puzzled and unsure why she is being let go. (Yvonne jealous much). I think Donald could have done a better job of firing Alison.
Fifty Shades of Alison
Alison runs up to the house to confront Yvonne and magically Yvonne, Robert, their kids and grandchild are MIA. She notices Noah’s book sitting on Yvonne’s desk and can’t resist any longer. She rifles through it and we now learn Descent is not just about their affair but a depiction of Alison who was “sex, the very definition of it, the reason the word was invented.” “no marriage, no matter how strong could survive.” This is what it meant to fall.” All fifty shades of Alison. It has become crystal clear Yvonne is worried about Alison & Robert’s relationship. Alison is mortified and throws Yvonne’s books on the floor. She leaves Noah an urgent message to call her, packs a bag and stares at herself in the mirror wondering if this is the only thing men see in her.
Alison literally grows a set of balls and heads to Noah & Helen’s apartment in Fort Greene. Helen opens the door and WOW, those bleached highlights look amazING.
I’m thinking she found a new hairdresser after last week. Helen is floored Alison had the gall to show up at her front door looking for Noah (I am too actually) but heck, since Alison is there, Helen may as well break it down for her. I mean Helen has been married to Noah for 20 years, she knows exactly how Alison’s future will pan out so Helen’s sheds some light into Alison’s future with Noah. Alison utterly confused and alone, goes back to a place that is safe..home to Montauk.
PART TWO: COLE
RIDE ME RICH HAND
Well, Well, it turns out Cole took, Tory, the private landscape artists’ number after all and shows up for some afternoon delight. Surprisingly Luisa (the nanny from the Butler’s who I said he would wind up marrying), answers Tory’s door. Cole, who is both excited and rattled to see Luisa, is beckoned upstairs by Tory for an interesting (to say the least) fuck session only to be caught by Tori’s husband minutes later. I guess this was no big deal for Tory as she says to her husband “you were supposed to be golfing.” Apparently they have their own cheating rules. (*the little boy who was at the Butler’s was also at Tory’s house…is he Luisa’s son? Tory’s son? Whose son??)
HEDGEFUNDS AND NIGHTCLUBS
Scotty sent Abigail the realtor to appraise Cole’s beach house. Cole, who has every right to be pissed, pays Scotty a visit and it just so happens Scotty is not alone. Nope he is with – drumroll please…. Luisa. Of course. Now who is judging who? Scotty goes on about how Oscar lost his loan, he and Cole could buy the Lobster Roll with an investor (a hedge fund guy…hmmm MAX possibly???) and turn it into a nightclub. Ya know, he just needs $1M. Cole is like you live on a boat and I live in a trailer and walks away. He turns back to see Scotty dealing drugs (coke) to two preppy boys. Luisa throws a fit as she is not legal and wants nothing to do with a guy who is in the drug dealing business (good idea). She hurries off the boat, calls a cab and Cole who overhears Luisa is all “I have a cab.” Off they go to Luisa’s umpteenth job of the day (how many is that now??)
Luisa also works at THE END. As in the place we heard so much about in season 1. Remember Detective Jeffries playing inspector gadget at The End? And, of course you can’t forget, Alison and Noah letting loose on the dance floor in the beginning of their torrid love affair. Scotty is now the manager at THE END (along with his drug dealing gig) and Luisa is a bartender. Cole drops Luisa off but decides to go back in for a Red ale and a bourbon on the rocks. It goes from daylight to nightime , god knows how many Bourbons later and lots of Cole and Luisa getting to know each other. Luisa tells Cole that she wants to go back to school and get her degree in hospitality so she can open a restaurant. She screws up with the son joke (Cole looked like a deer caught in headlights) but quickly fixes it with another drink and a toast to “Something Else”. (I was thinking to the future Mrs. Lockhart).
Next thing we know Cole is driving (definitely drunk) home and notices a light on in his house. Alison is snuggled warmly in their bed. This could possibly be the worst timing ever. Cole is finally emerging from a hole he has been in for so long and his estranged wife has come home for some reassurance that she is not the “slut” she was made out to be in Descent. Cole, being the good guy that he is, makes her feel better about herself and one thing leads to another, next thing we know Cole is having sex for the second time today. Although I would call this more “lovemaking” than sex. AND I’m going to put money on it, this is where little Joanie is conceived. Yup, Cole’s daughter not Noah’s but time will tell….
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
As Cole is pondering his future with Luisa (whose number is on his hand) and Alison who is sleeping upstairs, Scotty shows up all bent out of shape accusing Cole of bringing Luisa home with him. Alison hears the screaming and walks outside. Now Scotty has his answer.
Lockhart’s Lobster Roll
We cut to the future and see Jeffries and Gottlieb meeting in a very familiar lunch place (hmmm The Lobster Roll where Alison worked). Gottlieb tells Jeffries that after being in Montauk less than 72 hours he has found out that half the people in this town wanted to see Scott Lockhart dead. Noah would have been crazy to kill him. But he does have another idea. What about Scotty’s brother who stole Scott’s biz plan out of his nose?? Which brother? There are four. I am going to assume Gottlieb is putting the finger on Cole. This business plan turns out to be Lockhart’s Lobster Roll where Oscar is a waiter. I wonder if Luisa followed through with her life dream and is now running this restaurant?
Guess we will find out! Until next week!! You agree with my theories? What’s yours?