Going to Miami…

Tomorrow I leave for my 4th annual Miami girls trip. I have been running around like a lunatic trying to get ready while taking care of the kids, the dog and trying to work. Yes I do that also. I don’t want a pat on the back. I just want to complain about how hard we have it compared to men. Like what do you think they do before a guys trip? Pack some shit in a bag, shave their balls, and get on a plane.

And us??  It is a major part-time job. Waxing, threading, blowouts, mani and pedis, facials, spray tans, and maybe lash extensions  to look our absolute finest for all the pics we are going to take.  We can’t forget about the 6-8 week prep of dieting and exercising before D-DAY. Those 6-8 weeks of no white sugar, carbs, and soda  are hell but we do it. All of us. Only to let it all go the minute our feet touch the ground in South Beach.

I don’t even know how to discuss the shopping situation that takes place beforehand. First of all we are going away for a long weekend  which means we only need an outfit for Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday night, a few bathing suits & cover ups and yoga pants.  Clearly we should all be able to pack a carry on like the guys and leave it at that.

Not a shot in hell.  We have to break out the monster suitcase.


Between the 12 pairs of shoes (well these are only eight because I couldn’t squeeze in the sneakers and slides in the pic)



the jewelry, the eight bathing suits (not three), the 10 outfits (because we have our own private fashion show with our roommate before we go out to decide whether our outfit is a hot or not…We MUST have options). On top of all of that we have to make room for our 40 pound toiletry bag. If we took a peek into a guys toiletry bag I am assuming we would find:

  • a toothbrush and toothpaste
  • floss (maybe not)
  • deodorant
  • razor
  • nail clippers (possible)
  • baby powder/gold bond
  • cologne
  • hair gel
  • Advil

In OUR toiletry bag:

  • a toothbrush and toothpaste
  • floss (def)
  • deodorant
  • razor (possible unless you have laser hair removed and wax your legs)
  • perfume
  • dry shampoo (nobody is washing their hair…we have all scheduled blowouts)
  • makeup – shadows, liners, blush, bronzer, concealer, foundation, brushes, lash curler, lip glosses, lipsticks, etc
  • moisturizer (hand and body)
  • aloe
  • special face sunscreen
  • q-tips
  • shower cap
  • Tums
  • Advil
  • Tampons
  • pharmaceuticals
  • gd knows what else

A guy doesn’t need any kind of “bag”. They have a wallet and a back pocket. We have the beach bag, the every day bags, and the evening bags. I often wonder why Greg and I fight every time we go away. He begs me to pack light and he doesn’t understand why I can’t pack a carry on “just like him.”  The 50lb bag limit is the death of him. He will throw my shit in every other suitcase until mine weighs under 50lbs.  There is NO WAY he is paying the bag charge. Not a chance. But tomorrow baby, I fly myself with the girls and I will pay that fucking $25 charge because it’s a girls weekend and that’s how we do.

It’s not easy being a woman. We have a ton of maintainance  and we constantly have to defend why we need the things we do…like why I needed a blowout to get on a plane tomorrow. We just do.

So here’s to my three days in Miami, not having to answer to my kids, my husband or my dog. Even if I packed for 10 days, starved myself for 30, and waxed every hair on my body, It’s all worth it.

I am ready to get the hell out of dodge.

Until I am back…



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  1. Iris

    Haha this is too funny and so true! I packed for 30 days for a one week vacation! You never know you just never know! 

    April 23, 2015 • 8:10 am •