It’s 3:48am. I’m freezing. I think that is partly why I am up staring at the ceiling wondering why I decided to live in this weather.
These are my thoughts:
1. Novartis. Every single time it snows I get a call from Novartis about the delayed opening in their office. They ring my house at 5:30am. Yup. 5:30am. First of all I do not work for Novartis nor does one single other family member in my house. Why the fuck are you calling me? This went on all last winter so being the smart person that I am, I changed my phone number. Yesterday morning at 5:30am my phone rings. I thought someone died. No. It was a recording from Novartis about their business hours. WTF. How did they find me? Please make it stop!
2. The amazing thing about January is that everyone is on the same get fit/eat clean diet. I don’t feel like the asshole in the restaurant this month asking for dressing on the side, no cheese, no this and no that because everyone else is as well. Love January except for the weather.
3. There is a woman who lives in my neighborhood who walks her dog or actually the dog walks her. For the life of me I can’t understand why she can’t train this dog to walk on a leash. The dog is four times the size of her. When I drive onto my street the dog is literally pulling her in the middle of the street. I have to stop because I am going to kill the dog and her. I don’t get it and she just looks at me like it is my fault I am driving in the middle of the street. Hello?
4. I am 100 pages into Andy Cohen Diaries. I needed some fluff after the 4 novels I just read. My favorite part so far is his reference to BRF or bitchy resting face. You know those people who always look miserable no matter what. Their face just has bitch written all over it. I could write a list a mile long. Such a great reference. I think I want to come back as his dog.
5. I have complete and total writer’s block. I have been working on this particular post for days (not this one) and I can’t seem to get it together. I need some kind of inspiration. Not like jumping out of a plane or anything but something….
6. I would like to retire by the age of 50. What would be the fastest and most lucrative way to do that?
7.. Am I really going to have 7 weeks with Greg alone this summer? I think that will be a blog post on it is own unless of course someone else writes about it before I have the chance :).
8. Did I mention I cannot STAND this weather? It’s one of those things I can complain about it because as much as I want to change it, my hands are tied. So I will just bitch every winter until eventually my kids are in college and I can get the fuck out of dodge.
9.. Michael Phelps and his tinder intersex date is crazy. When she said that she was divorced four times and the first time she ever did 69 was with Phelps, I was like wait, what?? Who were you married to? Please explain. I am have no idea how Howard didn’t ask that question.
10. Why are people wearing overalls? Is that back in? Oh please tell me it’s not.
11. I think my broccoli meatballs (or vegetarian times meatballs) were a hit. I can’t decide if they should be considered a snack at 350 calories or a meal. I fully ate them for dinner last night as a meal. By the way it is 1/8 teaspoon of cayenne. I forgot that in the ingredients. whoops!
I need to go to bed because tomorrow night (I mean tonight) I have the pleasure of driving basketball at 7:30pm in Iceland. Can’t wait.