The Balance Project

A little while ago I received an email from Susie Schnall about participating in the Balance Project. I had no idea what she meant because I am FAR from balanced but after Susie explained I knew I had to take part! Susie explains her weekly project as:

“The Balance Project is a series of relevant and refreshingly candid interviews featuring inspiring and accomplished women talking about balance. I’ve always been curious—and maybe a little obsessed—about how women I admire manage the tragically glorified “doing it all” craze. So I asked them. As I suspected, no one really does “it all.” Everyone’s making sacrifices somewhere. And that should make us feel a little better. Every Friday I’ll feature a new interview. Here’s what Amy Selling had to say…

Here is my interview:

No. 31: Amy Selling, Lifestyle Blogger

Age: 39
Where I live: Livingston, NJ
Job: Lifestyle Blogger: Lulu and Lattes
Ages/genders of kids: Two boys ages 7 & 10

Is the job you have now the same one you had before kids? If not, how and why did you change directions?
Omg no. Before I had kids I was the Sales Manager of the women’s Burberry showroom. After having my first son, Zach, they told me I had to come back full-time or leave… I left. Several years later, closing two businesses, lots of stories, and a will to share, I sat down to write. From the minute I wrote my first post, I knew I would be writing forever. They say do what you love.

Do you think having “it all” is realistic or overrated and why?
Overrated. There is no such thing as having it all. Nobody lives the perfect life, and if they do I would love to meet that person.

What part of “balance” can you just not seem to figure out?
Owning your business and working from home means you are always on. I try hard on the weekends and after school to turn off social media and “work” but I struggle with this constantly, and I need to find a way to hide my phone!

What part of “balance” are you getting better at?
I am getting better at acceptance. It has taken me a long time to realize that people are who they are. They are not going to change just because you want them to. I learned I have to change how I handle people instead of waiting for them to change to my expectations.

What was the best advice you ever heard on balance…
From a mentor/co-worker? Last summer (2013) only a few months after I started my blog, I wrote a blog post that went viral. I thought I was on the map but quickly realized it was lightning in a bottle. A very successful owner of a PR firm who is a dear friend, sat me down and said, “Amy, your blog is three months old. Writing is a marathon, not a sprint. Write what you believe, not what you ‘think’ people want to hear. You will gain readership with your honesty, voice, and point of view.”
From your mother? “Date night. It is so important for the health of your marriage, the independence of your kids and the stress of your week!”
From your kids? Having kids and watching them grow so fast has taught me to value every moment. Life can change in a blink of an eye and my kids have shown me time and time again how precious our moments are together.

If you had one extra hour in each day and you couldn’t work or be with your family, how would you spend that hour?
Reading. There is nothing better than reading great book in a warm sunny place.

What do you wish you’d known when you were 20?
I didn’t “have” to find a husband and get married so quickly. I think I was so focused on finding a husband, I didn’t enjoy the time I had dating and having fun.

What do you hope to know by time you’re 60?
If Botox is safe.

What one part of your home life do you wish you could outsource?
LAUNDRY, hands down. I hate every minute of it.

Whose job do you wish you had?
Gwyneth’s: acting and writing a blog on everything healthy and clean. I aspire!

Whose job are you glad you don’t have?
I once had a colonic. I have NO IDEA how people give those for a living.

Favorite books?
Oh so many! The Tender Bar by J. R. Moehringer, Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts, The Goldfinchby Donna Tartt, Me Before You by Jojo Moyes, and The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger.

What are you reading right now?
Henna House by Nomi Eve.

Biggest vices…
Activity? Reading in the loo. I could take a book into the bathroom and stay for an hour and pretend I am “going” to the bathroom. I find any place to escape and read.
Food? Taffy lites and french fries!
Website? Amazon Prime. Big problems there… From books to protein powder to snacks to every single thing you can think of, big problems.

How many hours do you generally sleep at night during the week?
7-8 hours. I am an EARLY RISER. I wake up around 5:30/6am everyday and go to bed around 10.

What do you read every morning?
Instagram first, Facebook, my Twitter feed, and The Times. I am a social media whore.

Complete the following sentences:
I think I: need four more hours in every day.
I wish I: could eat whatever I wanted and not gain one pound.
My kids: are my biggest accomplishments. They have shown me the meaning of life and how important it is not to sweat the small stuff.

Do you have a personal motto or favorite saying?
I have two:

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation, trying to put the pieces back together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.” (Tupac)

“Surround yourself with people who push you, who challenge you, who make you laugh, who make you better, who make you happy.”  

Anything else you’d like to add?
Just something short. It took me 39 years to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Through thick and thin I have stayed true to who I am and what I want. I have learned along the way there will always be nayers and there will also be yayers. Life is about balancing the good and the bad, the no’s with the yes’s and the never’s with the I can’s. After two businesses I finally am doing what I love. I say keep trying until you know. I promise you will know.

Also a huge thank you to Susie for including me the Balance Project. You should definitely go back and read Susie’s other interviews. They are so much fun and interesting to read! Don’t you always wonder how women do it (or try to anyway!)?

xx