If You Sprinkle When You Tinkle

Friday night I went to a party. A surprise, WHITE party. I have no idea how my friends husband pulled it off but he did. It’s one thing to have a surprise party but it’s another to have a surprise party and have the entire guest list in white. Let’s just say I borrowed about 5 dresses from 5 different people because there was nothing left to buy anywhere! Everything I tried on either made me look like I was going to a shower on Sunday or some cheesy Jersey club. When in doubt, ask your friends. So after gathering dresses from all over town, I had a selection (thanks to everyone who lent me their dresses, I will return shortly).

Anyway, the party was a ton of fun and at most parties once you start drinking you have to go to the bathroom. I have a pet peeve about public bathrooms. First of all, I don’t like to go in them but since that is really not an option most of the time, I deal. Secondly, you always to be careful about what you say in a public bathroom because you have no idea who is lurking in the stall. Lastly and most importantly, the real reason I hate public bathrooms (besides the privacy issue) is people pee on the seat and they don’t clean it up. It is BEYOND gross. Since I practically stand when I pee in a public restroom (you could not pay me to sit on a seat that some stranger sat on),

standI find it so disconcerting that someone will pee, turn around to flush the toilet and they can SEE if they peed on the seat AND if the did, they leave it. Why on gods green earth would you just walk out? Why? I need you to tell me because I am in awe by the whole subject matter. Do you know that every time I went to pee at the party (yes, I drank a lot), there was pee on the seat. Which means I had to clean it!  I was so pissed but there was not a shot I was walking out of that stall to run into another person, especially someone I knew, who would think that I peed on the seat. In turn, I had to clean whose ever pee it was and the best part was it was definitely a person I knew. I would think by now we have all learned manners to clean the seat after you pee!

Same thing on an airplane. WHY? Why can’t you fucking clean the seat? Why do I have to do it?? I am definitely leaving this post-it note the next time and if you see it, you will know it was from me!


So people, have some courtesy and clean the seat. It is vile. I can’t even begin to imagine what goes on in the men’s loo…


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